Fallen Angel
by kuriqa
Summary: Hiro finally confronts Yuki for hurting Shu, leaving a shocked Yuki behind in Japan, Bad Luck goes to America, but what kind of trouble will occur when they return to their homeland two years later? ShuXHiro i am horrible at summeries so please read!
1. tears

this has been editeded and changed a little

Koi shiteru: I love you, as in a question or as in the feelings aren't returned

Ai shiteru: I love you

when i do the ( : D ) thing it means that i am paying homeage to the creator of a line or phrase or idea that i got

* * *

Ch. 1 Tears of an Angel 

He shivered. _God it's so cold out here_. The boy smirked; he knew that no matter how cold it got out here, the man he called his lover would always be colder.

_Perhaps Yuki will be nicer to me next time_. The small treacherous voice that always insisted on telling the absolute truth snickered at him. Yeah right you know that man is never going to change. _Shut up what do you know about hi… _

Shuichi stopped and realized that he was taking to himself. He shook his head and slowly pulled himself off of the ground, wincing when his stiff muscles protested.

* * *

He paused. He thought he had heard a knock on his door. When there was no following noise Hiro went back to playing his guitar. He paused again; this time there was a definite knock when he paused. Hiro set his guitar down and answered the door.

_Now who would be coming over this early in the morning?_ He asked himself, already knowing the answer. He opened the door to be greeted by none other than his pink-haired baka of a singer. "Oh, hi Hiro. I was wondering if I could stay with you." Shuichi said, just a little too cheerily.

"Yuki kicked you out again didn't he?" the only answer he got was a dark shadow that passed briefly over his best friends face. "Come in and tell me what happened." Hiro said, heading into his apartment, Shuichi silently followed shivering from the cold morning air.

When they were both inside Hiro asked Shuichi if he wanted something to eat or drink. Shuichi just shook his head in response. Hiro shrugged and left the room telling Shuichi that he was going to get him something warmer to wear.

"Now, why don't you tell me what that jackasses excuse was for kicking you out this time." Hiro said as he sat down next to Shuichi. "But Hiro, he didn't kick me out and don't call him names!" Shuichi said, his eyes going wide and tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

Hiro hugged the boy "You can't keep living like this Shu, its going to end up breaking you!" Hiro said pulling away from him and wiped the pink-haired boy's eyes. "I know Hiro, I just can't give up though, 'no matter how dark the tunnel may be, there is always light at the end' so I can't stop hoping that maybe Yuki will be nice to me someday." Shuichi said, tears falling freely from his eyes. "Sh… sh… hush now… it'll be ok…" Hiro held Shuichi against him, and comforted him until he fell asleep.

_It's time I took matters into my own hands._ Hiro thought as he laid Shuichi into his bed. Shuichi just sighed and curled up under the blankets. "Yu…ki…" he mumbled as Hiro left the room. "Sweet dreams, Shu-chan"

* * *

The blond took a deep sigh as he sat down in front of his laptop. _Finally I can get something done now that the brat is gone._ He thought as he waited for the computer to warm up. 'Welcome Mr. Yuki' the computer said once he put his password in.

As the laptop warmed up Yuki went and got a can of beer. He was just sitting down when there was a knock on his door. _What the fuck!_ He got up; ready to kill whoever had interrupted his peace and quiet. When the door opened his anger only increased.

"He's not here, he's at a friends house" Yuki growled to the guitarist. "Well I think I know that you idiot!" Hiro growled back. This took the novelist by surprise, which is exactly what Hiro was wanting. Hiro grabbed Yuki's shirt collar and yanked him into the cold morning air.

"Shu cries himself to sleep every night and cuts himself because he can't stand this loneliness and if you'd have taken even half a second to care about him then he might still have a will to live!" Hiro yelled at Yuki angrily.

Yuki just stared at Hiro with surprise written all over his face. This only pissed Hiro off more because that meant that he had been right in believing Yuki knew nothing of Shuichi's activities.

The next thing Yuki knew there was a sharp stinging pain in his cheek and a red hand-shaped welt was appearing. The guitarist was turning back to his motorcycle.

"You can't deserve to be with an angel like Shu. In fact you deserve to rot in hell!" Hiro shouted back as he put on his helmet and sped off.

* * *

"_There you are! I've been looking all over for you, you stupid brat!" Yuki said as he approached the pink-haired singer. _

"_But Yuki! Me an' Hiro decided that we wanted to have some drinks after work. I tried to get a hold of you, but you weren't home an' your cell phone was turned off!" Shuichi whined. _

_"Shut up! I never gave you permission to go drinking either!" Yuki yelled and grabbed Shuichi's wrist and started to drag him out of the dance club. _

"_But Yuki, I wanted to have some fun and I know that you'd never have taken me out. So Hiro said that he'd take me out!" Shuichi whined, vainly trying to free his wrist from Yuki's grasp. _

"_Shut up!" Yuki yelled and yanked Shuichi's wrist "Ow! Yuki stop it your hurting me, Yuki please your really hurting me!" Shuichi cried. _

_Yuki then released Shuichi's wrist only to slap him across the face. "I thought I told you to shut up!" Yuki growled, and shoved Shuichi into his Mercedes and locked the door before he could get out. _

_The drive home was silent. "Come on brat." Yuki said as he pulled Shuichi out of the car. "Ow." Shuichi mumbled without emotion and winced at the pain in his arm. The rest of the night was a blur. _

_The only he could distinctly remember was Yuki fucking him senseless as his throat went raw with unheard pleas and cries of pain.

* * *

_

"Yu… ki… no… please… NOO!" Shuichi yelled and sat up. He looked around the room and realized that he was in Hiro's bedroom. Shuichi looked beside him for Hiro and found a note. /Deja vu/ He picked the note up. 

'Shu,

I went to do some shopping and will be home in a little,

Hiro'

_Hn. Your best friend wants to die and you go shopping? Some best friend!_ Shuichi got up and went to the fridge to see if there was anything to eat, major disappointment._ He must have gone grocery shopping._

Sighing, Shuichi sat down on the couch to wait. After half an hour Shuichi got bored and turned on the TV, hoping that there would be something interesting on. Once he was sure that he had passed all the channels at least five times he turned off the TV and rolled onto his back.

_Man, is Hiro ever going to get back? I hope he didn't get into a wreck._ Shuichi turned and knocked on the wooden table to ward off the evils he'd mentioned (: D) and decided to stay like that until Hiro got home.

* * *

"Shu, I'm back!" Hiro called as he took off his shoes. "Shu!" Hiro called, getting worried when there was no response. "Shuichi!" He yelled, running to his bedroom. "Shu, where are you! Please answer me!" Hiro called a deep pain burning in his heart as he frantically went from his bedroom to bathroom, bathroom to kitchen.

"Where are you?" Hiro cried in despair, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Hiro? Why are you crying?" Hiro looked up to see perfectly violet eyes looking at him curiously.

"Shu! Where were you? I was so worried; I thought you'd left. I thought you might've committed suicide." Hiro cried and hugged Shuichi to make sure that he was real.

"Oh Hiro. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you so. Don't worry, as long as your here I still have a reason to live." Shuichi whispered the last part. Hiro looked at Shuichi with surprise.

_Where did that come from?_ Shuichi wondered. It took a few minutes for Shuichi's words to sink into them both.

Once realization kicked in, their lips met in between and they shared a soft chaste kiss. "Koi shiteru?" Hiro asked him. " Hai, ai shiteru, Hiro… I'm sorry." Shuichi whispered. "Oh honey, what are you sorry for?" Hiro asked as he gently pulled Shuichi into his embrace. "For hurting you, worrying you, and most importantly, for denying my feelings for you for so long." Shuichi said into Hiro's chest. "Baby, don't worry about that. The most important thing is that you finally did admit it to yourself, and to me." Hiro said as he picked Shuichi up and walked towards the living room.

"Where were you anyway?" Hiro asked as he sat down, Shuichi still in his arms. "Right here." Shuichi mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

awwww how cute, they shared their first kiss

So, tell me how you liked it by clicking that little button down there


	2. wings

YAY! I finally banished the nasty disease labeled writer's block YAY! any wayz, sorry for keeping ya'll waiting for so long... on with the story

Oh yeah I forgot this in ch.1 I do not own Gravitation. It all belongs to the wonderful Murakami-sensei

hai-yes, nani-what

* * *

Ch. 2 Wings of an Angel

Shuichi sat bolt upright, cold sweat rolled off of his skin. _God why do I have to dream those living nightmares?_ Shuichi asked himself as he remembered what had awoken him so suddenly and shuddered.

"Mm... Shu? What is it? Are you okay?" Shuichi looked to his left to see amber eyes looking straight at him. "Yeah... fine..." Shuichi mumbled and lay back down.

* * *

"Morning sleepyhead. Time to get up and get ready for work." Hiro said, gently prying the blankets off of Shuichi and felt his forehead. "Good, looks like your fever is gone."

When Shuichi only stared at him, Hiro answered the unvoiced question. "You got sick, probably from being out in 36 degree weather in just your boxers. I took care of you while you were out." Hiro said, pulling two clean shirts out of his drawer and tossing one to Shuichi.

Shuichi was surprised to see that it was one of his own, not one of Hiro's. _He must have gotten all my stuff from _His _house._ "Thanks, for everything." Shuichi said as he pulled the nightshirt off and put his clean shirt on. "What's a best friend for?" Hiro asked and grinned at Shuichi.

_He looks a lot better when he smile._ Shuichi shook his head a little._ Where did that come from? I thought I lived for Yuki only?_** Yes we **used **to live for Yuki only, but that was before he did all those things to us, remember?** Shuichi thought about it and decided that he needed to get away from Yuki, no matter how much it would hurt him.

"H… Hiro… I… I think I need to get away form here." Shuichi said as they got to his motorcycle. "What do you mean? Leave here? Leave Japan?" Hiro asked as he started up the bike. Shuichi nodded.

"Yes. I need to leave. I need to get away from _him_." Shuichi said as a small tear worked its way down his cheek. "We'll see what can be done, ok, Shu?" Hiro said and wiped the tear form Shuichi's cheek. "Ok…"

* * *

"So, let me get this straight, you want Bad Luck to go to America, for how long, and why?" Tohma Seguchi asked Bad Luck's guitarist. Tohma had nothing against the man, but he did want to know why the lead singer was also agreeing.

"Because it will be a good experience, and we'd like to go for at least a year." Hiro said in his most polite voice. "And Shindou-san, what of his relationship with Eiri-san?" Tohma asked, an eyebrow raised.

"What relationship?" Hiro simply replied. "What, indeed. I think I can make some arrangements with N-G's American business partner, XMR." Tohma said and picked up the phone to start dialing.

Hiro knew this was a dismissal. _There, Shu-chan, it's done_. Hiro thought as he headed down the halls.

* * *

"Yay! Shu-chan is gonna go back to America with me and Kuma-chan!" Ryuichi cried, promptly followed by the man-child jumping on Shuichi and kissing his cheek. Shuichi patted Ryuichi's head and smiled.

"Yeah we're going to America and we're going to knock their socks off!" Shuichi said and looked up as Hiro came into the room. "And we have Hiro and Seguchi-san to thank for it."

At this news Ryuichi grinned, pounced, and performed the same 'thank you' he'd given Shuichi.

"Uh… Hi, Sakuma-san. Seguchi-san said he wanted to talk to you when you had a chance." Hiro told the uber-hyper man that was running around." Yay, Tohma-chan wants to see us Kuma-chan!" With that Ryuichi left.

"So, shall we go tell the others?" Hiro asked the singer. When he didn't answer, Hiro went over to Shuichi to find out what was wrong. "Shuichi… anyone home?" Hiro asked and touched his arm.

"Huh? Oh what, Hiro, I'm sorry, I was spacing." Shuichi said and snapped his head up to look directly into amber eyes. "H… Hiro… I…" Shuichi said, starting to back off a little and was cut off by Hiro placing a finger on his lips.

"Did I make a mistake? Did I just let myself open to be hurt again?" Hiro asked. Shuichi could see the hurt in his eyes. "No… I… I just… I'm just… right now I'm not really sure of anything and I don't think I can give you a definite answer at this moment… I'm sorry Hiro, I really am…" Shuichi stuttered.

Hiro then closed the distance between their faces. When their lips met this time, the kiss was more loving than anything Shuichi had ever felt before. Hiro felt Shuichi's arms wrap themselves around him and held that delicate body to him a little tighter.

"I love you Shuichi, never forget it, please." Hiro said when they came apart. "H… hai, Hiro… I won't forget." Shuichi said as they headed towards the door, still arm in arm.

* * *

"What does Tohma-chan want to see us for?" Ryuichi said as he bounced into the office. "Sakuma-san, could you please settle down, I have a serious question to ask you." The blond said, trying to keep his cool.

Much to his surprise and amazement Ryuichi actually sat down and was quiet, although the happy sparkle didn't leave his eyes. "What is it that you needed to see me about Tohma-chan?" Ryuichi asked the blond across the desk.

"As you may already know, Bad Luck will be going to America." Tohma said. "Yes we do know this… what of it" Ryuichi said in a more serious tone.

"Well, since this is their first time in America, none of them currently have knowledge of the cities or a place to stay. We would like it if you would take them in until they get to know their area a little better, and are able to live on their own." Tohma told the uber-cute singer.

"Of course, we would be dishonored if you had asked anyone else." Ryuichi answered in his serious voice. "We want to have Shu-chan, Hiro-chan and the others stay with us!" Ryuichi said in his child like voice, just before he bounced off into the halls.

* * *

"Hell yeah! America, here we come!" K yelled as he pointed his gun up to the ceiling and fired off a few rounds.

"N… Na… NANI! We ArE WHAAAAAAT!" Sakano yelled as he turned into a human tornado that destroyed everything in its path.

"Sakano-san please try to calm yourself? So what if we're going to America. Its not like it's a bad thing." Suguru said, trying to calm Sakano down, and save some of the room.

"I… I'm sorry guys, I didn't think of how you would feel about this… I'm sorry." Shuichi said and fled the room. Everyone stared at the door that Shuichi had just exited." I had better go after him." Hiro said and left.

"What was that all about?" Suguru asked no one in particular.

* * *

_How stupid! You got selfish and thought everyone would be fine with this? And now you're upset because of your own stupidity! Yuki was right, I am so fucking stupid! "Stupid stupid stupid!" Shuichi repeated as he banged his head on the bathroom wall behind him. _

"Shuichi! Are you in here?" _Well duh! Of course I'm in here!_ Shuichi thought and continued to bang his head on the wall.

"Shu? I know you're in here, where are you?" Shuichi didn't respond. Instead he pretended that he didn't hear Hiro and continued banging his head. Hiro jiggled the stall door that he was in. _Dammit, now he where I am!_

"Shuichi, please open this door." Hiro asked. _As if._ "Go away." Shuichi growled. _Oops, now knows where I am for sure._ "Shuichi unlock this door now." Hiro commanded… silence…

"Don't make me climb the wall." Even as Hiro said this, Shuichi could hear him preparing to do just that.

"God, I haven't done this in so long." Hiro said as he crested the top of the stall divider. When Shuichi looked up Hiro flashed a grin at him before executing a graceful flip and landing on the stall floor.

"Well, now what's this all about huh?" Hiro said as he wiped at the tear trailing down Shuichi's cheek. "It's just… that… I forgot that the others might not want to go… and… I..." Hiro's finger on his lips silenced him.

"The only one who was truly upset was Sakano-san, and he's always upset or worried about something. So don't worry Shu-chan." Hiro said as he took his finger off of Shuichi's lips. "But… I…" Hiro shook his head.

"Don't worry Shu. The only reason that we have stayed here so long is because of your previous relationship, remember?" Hiro asked. "Oh… I didn't know that." Shuichi said finally.

"Now what do you say we leave this place and go pack. We have 36 hours to be ready." Hiro said as he stood up and offered Shuichi a hand up. "Thanks." Shuichi said as he stood up.

Just as they were about to leave the bathroom Shuichi tugged at Hiro's hand. "What is it Shu?" Hiro asked as he turned around.

Shuichi stared into his amber eyes for a couple seconds. Then he surprised them both by lightly kissing Hiro. Shuichi turned a deep shade of red and fled the room.

_What was that about I wonder?_ Hiro thought as he left the building at a much slower pace.

* * *

thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers and thank you for reading my story... now the fun has just begun (grins evilly)

oh! and by the way, this thing in the bathroom actually did happen to me, except i didn't kiss her... my best friend that is...


	3. flight

Hey all. sorry it took me so long to get this chappie up. if you are cunfuseled then Kuma-chan here is going to explain some things for yas all

Kuma: okay first of all when ku-chan makes a :D it means that she got the quote form somewhere else or the idea from somewhere else... of course not many of you will understand. mama also likes to use actual Japanese so for all you ignorant masses--

Ku: hey Kuma you really shouldn't call them stupid. they might not read the story then.

kuma: fine whatev.. any way Onii means big brother and Nii-chan is just an affectionate way to say it. And Imouto is just little sister and that be all

Ku: Oh! and before I forget it again I don't own Gravi or any of the characters. they all belong to Murakami-sensei. and without further ado

* * *

Ch.3 Flight of an Angel

_Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my fucking god! I can't believe I did that! Why did I do that? WHY! Hiro is my best friend, why'd I go and do that? Why did I kiss him? Am I some fickle monster?_ (: D_) Or am I actually falling for him? God I need to get out of here before he gets home._

"Mom." Shuichi said out loud as an idea formed in his head._ I'll stay with my family until tomorrow. Yeah that'll work. I can tell them goodbye for now too._ Shuichi thought as he left.

* * *

"Shuichi! Are you here?" Hiro called as dropped his keys on the kitchen counter. Hiro then went to the fridge to grab a soda and stopped short. There was a note on the fridge door.

'Hiro,

I'm going to stay with my family tonight and say goodbye to them.

I'll see you tomorrow, Shu.

_So he's going to avoid me. Shu-chan haven't you learned by now that I can see right through you?_ Hiro sighed as he entered his room. He set his soda down on the nightstand and reached under his bed for his duffel bag and suitcases.

Hiro groaned._ I hate packing!_ Then he got an idea._ Maybe if I put some music on and time myself on how long it takes me to get done._ Hiro thought as he got up. He set the bags down on his bed and went over to his stereo system.

Hiro flipped through his CD case until he found the CD he was looking for. Hiro put the CD in and cranked up the music._ Nothing like good music to get you motivated._ Hiro thought as the lyrics for 'acidman' by Dir en Grey started to play.

* * *

Shuichi sighed as he sat back into the couch. "Shuichi dear, would you like something to drink?" His mom asked him. "No thanks mom. Just tell me when dinner is ready ok?" He said. His mom nodded and left the room.

"So, big brother, you're going to America. Tell me, is Yuki-sensei going to go with you? Can I go with you? Please Shu-chan please please please?" Maiko said as she sat down next to him.

"No, Maiko. Yuki will not be coming. Nor will I ever see him again." Shuichi said as he stared blankly at the living room wall. "Why?" She asked as she looked at him. "Because Maiko-chan. Just because. Can we leave it at that?" Shuichi asked her. She could feel how hurt he was so she decided to drop it.

"Sure Nii-chan. So what do you guys plan on doing in America? As a band, I mean." She asked. "Oh… I don't know. First we're going to get somewhat used to America. Then I think I want to knock their socks off. I want to be even better than Sakuma-san and more famous than Nittle Grasper is here." Shuichi said and started to get excited for the trip.

"Wow, those are some big ambitions Shu-chan, so you'd better work extra hard. No slaking off!" Maiko said. Shuichi slumped further into the couch. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for the support imouto-chan." Just as he said this, their mother came in and announced that dinner was ready and that they needed to wash up.

* * *

"Bye. I'll miss you too!" Shuichi said as he hugged his mom. "Take care of yourself Maiko." He said as he ruffled her hair in an older brotherly manner. "Of course I will. You take care and never lose site of your dreams Shu-chan." Maiko said as she kissed his cheek.

"Wow, that sounded sincere." Shuichi said. "That's because it was, you baka!" Maiko said as she whacked him upside the head. "Ouchie. That's not nice!" Shuichi said and stuck his tongue out at her, then smiled.

'FLIGHT 129 IS NOW BOARDING.' "That's my cue. Bye! I love you all!" Shuichi said as he took off running.

* * *

"Hey, thanks nii-chan. Thanks for everything." Hiro said as he hugged his brother. "Hey, no prop, little bro'. Everything will be clean and where you left it when you come home." His brother said as he waved goodbye to him.

* * *

_God all this fake happiness is so _**exhausting**. Shuichi thought as he plopped down onto the chair. "Hey." Hiro said as he sat down next to him. "Mm." Shuichi mumbled, refusing to open his eyes. "Goodnight Shu-chan." Hiro whispered, having picked up on how tired Shuichi was.

'FLIGHT 129 IS ABOUT TO TAKE OFF. PLEASE REMAIN SEATED UNTIL THE RED LIGHT IS OFF. PLEASE FASTEN YOU SEATBELTS WHILE TAKE OFF IS IN PROGRESS.' A female voice said over to intercom. Hiro buckled his and Shuichi's belts and sat back, tensed and waiting. Hiro squeezed the chairs arm as the plane took off from the ground.

* * *

'WE ARE NOW 53,038 FEET ABOVE GROUND AND HAVE LEVELED OUT. THE FLIGHT ATTENDENTS WILL NOW SERVE REFRESHMENTS.' A male voice said over the intercom as men and women alike pushed carts down the aisles.

A woman approached Hiro with one such cart. "Can I offer you gentlemen anything?" The woman asked as she gestured at her cart. Hiro turned a slight green at just the mere thought of food. "Uh… no, no thank you. We're fine. Thanks anyway." Hiro said as he tried desperately to hold down his stomach.

He succeeded, barely. "Alright. You be sure to page us if you want or need anything." The woman said before she moved on. Hiro sat back in his seat with a sigh and instantly regretted it.

Hiro snapped forward, his eyes huge in fear. _Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! How high up did she say we were? 1,000? 20,000? 1,000,000? _Hiro thought in panic as he lurched out of his seat towards the bathroom.

* * *

"_Yuki! I'm home!" Shuichi yelled as he walked in through the door. "Yuki! Are you home!" He called as he headed towards Yuki's study. "Yuki?" Shuichi said when he got no answer. _

I guess he isn't home._ Shuichi thought and headed towards the kitchen to make himself a TV dinner. As he got to the fridge he realized that there was a note on the door. _

_'Brat, _

_I went out. I'll be home when I'm home, _

_Yuki.' _

_Shuichi just shrugged, being used to this. Shuichi sighed as he sat down on the couch. He turned on the TV and was asleep in an instant. _

_Shuichi had awoken with a start due to the door slamming closed. "Hmm…Yuki?" Shuichi said sleepily as he rubbed his eyes. "Yuki? Is that you?" Shuichi said as he got up and walked towards the door. _

_When he saw that it was indeed Yuki, Shuichi smiled brightly up at his lover. "What do you want brat!" Yuki shouted as he stumbled forward. "Wha..what..what do you mean? Yuki? Are you okay?" Shuichi asked s he all but caught the stumbling man. _

"_I'm fine you idiot, so leave me the fuck alone!" Yuki yelled at him. "But Yuki, I've been waiting for you to come home all day. And… and I really missed you. You haven't been home much all week." Shuichi complained as he tugged at Yuki's shirtsleeve. _

"_I said go away and leave me the fuck alone!" He shouted as he slapped Shuichi across the face. Shuichi stood stunned as a red hand-shaped welt appeared on his cheek. Shuichi slowly brought his hand up to his now red cheek. _

"_Yu..ki? Wha…what?" Shuichi whimpered. "You fuckin' heard me! Get the fuck away from me!" Yuki growled as he pushed him away. Shuichi winced in pain as his spine connected with the corner of the wall. "Ow. Yuki! Why do you hate me? Why do you keep doing this! Yuki? Ow… do you even hear me? Yuki, please stop this!" Shuichi begged the blond. _

"_Arrgh! _**Shut the fuck up!**_ Goddamnit just shut up!" Yuki growled in his throat. "And get the fuck OUT!" Yuki shouted in his ear. Yuki picked Shuichi up by the throat and squeezed, effectively stopping Shuichi's cries of pain. Shuichi clawed at Yuki's hand, trying to loosen Yuki's grip. _

_While Shuichi was trying to free himself, Yuki carried him towards the door. "Now leave! And don't even think of coming back. EVER!" Yuki yelled as he slammed the door closed. _

_Shuichi coughed as he caught his breath. "Yuki… why?" Shuichi said as he curled up into a ball. "Why are you hurting me? Why are you always drunk?" Shuichi thought as he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

_

wow! i actually left it at a bit of a cliffy... i thought that i wasn't going to be doing that until much later... guess not sorry for the long wait 


	4. descent

hey all it's Ku-chan here... sorry for taking so long to update (ducks the fireballs being thrown at her) my life has been really stressful and i haven't had much time for writing... anyway here are your authors note thingies...

later on there is a cabbie whose speech is really funny so it os written liek it would sound like... and it really helps if you think of those old time country butlers... ya know with the heavy accent and all... also "((blah))" is something said in english... i think that is everything... oh yeah! (points to thing below)

**_disclaimer: ya know usually i forget this, but this time i promised i wouldn't forget! i actually do own some gravi stuff now! i own the first 5 manga and the firt dvd! but the characters, sadly, still belong to the wonderful Muramaki-sensei.(she would LOVE to own even just a small piece of Hiro...)_**

and without futher ado...

* * *

ch. 4 Descent of an Angel

Hiro sighed as he flushed the toilet for what felt like the millionth time. Hiro looked at his reflection in disgust._ Why am I so weak? What did I ever do to deserve this curse?_ Hiro asked as he washed out his mouth. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Why…?" He mumbled to himself as he left the bathroom. Hiro locked all his emotions in a small corner of his mind as he walked down the aisles, when a voice came in over the PA system.

'GOOD EVENING EVERYONE. I HOPE YOUR FLIGHT HAS BEEN ENJOYABLE. WE HAVE APPROXAMATLY THREE HOURS OF FLIGHT TIME LEFT AND WE HAVE CLEAR SKIES ALL THE WAY TO NEW YORK CITY. PLEASE ENJOY THE REST OF THE FLIGHT AND REMEMBER, JAPAN INTERNATIONAL WILL GIVE YOU THE MOST PLEASURABLE FLIGHT YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.' The man said.

_Pleasurable he says! Pleasurable is not puking up your guts for the past three hours!_ Hiro thought fiercely as he plopped down onto his seat. Shuichi mumbled something in his sleep that he couldn't quite catch. Hiro decided it was probably nothing and gazed lovingly at the boy next to him.

_I wonder if I told him too soon? Maybe he thinks I'm just trying to take advantage of him… I hope that isn't true…_ Hiro sighed and sat back in his seat. Shuichi mumbled again, this time Hiro caught a couple of the words.

"Yu… that you?" Hiro sighed in relief._ It's only a dream… not one of those horrifically real nightmares._

Then Hiro saw the tear that was trailing down Shuichi's cheek._Oh god no! Tell me this isn't real!_ Hiro thought, horrified as he watched the tears stream down Shuichi's face.

"Yuki… why? …ki, please stop…" Shuichi mumbled as Hiro watched in frozen silence.

He wanted to reach out and pull his best friend out of his nightmare, but he was numb, unable to move.

"Yuki… why?" Hiro finally broke free of the ice and reached over to shake Shuichi, when the boy curled into a very small ball in his seat.

"Shuichi… Shu… wake up. It's time to wake up, come on Shu… we're almost there." Hiro said gently as he shook Shuichi's arm.

"Shu… come on… wake up…" Hiro continued to plead with the pink-haired boy.

"Mmmm… five more minutes…" Shuichi mumbled and turned around.

"No Shu… you need to wake up now, come on…" Hiro said with a chuckle.

"Don' wanna go ta school t'day mama… don' feel good." This made Hiro both sweat drop and laugh.

"There is no school anymore. The plane is going to land soon and if you aren't up at that time… we're going to leave you on here." Hiro said and laughed when Shuichi was instantly awake and alert. Hiro sighed.

"It's about time…" Hiro said.

This was closely followed by a giant yawn from Shuichi. "How much longer are we going to be on here?" Shuichi asked once he finished stretching.

"I'd say about an hour, hour and a half… Shu, have you thought about what you want to do once we're in America?" Hiro asked.

"Well… I was thinking of us all just taking a break from being a 'band' and just relax for a little. Then, afterwards, I should have some songs written and we'll have thought about what to do as a band. Like tours, remixes, covers of American songs… stuff like that." Shuichi responded.

"Wow… sounds like little Shu-chan has himself a good plan." Hiro teased.

"That's because 'little Shu-chan' had some help from business minded Maiko-chan." Shuichi said in all seriousness.

"Ah… that explains more than it doesn't." Hiro said with a laugh.

'THIS IS THE CAPTAIN SPEAKING. WE ARE ABOUT TO LAND, PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS FOR SAFETY. THANKS.'

Hiro sighed._ Finally_. He thought, as he made sure his belt was tight.

* * *

'THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING JAPAN INTERNATIONAL. YOU ARE NOW FREE TO MOVE ABOUT THE COUNTRY.'

"Yay! Shu-chan is finally here!" An uber-hyper Ryuichi yelled as he glomped the arriving Shuichi.

"Ugg… yes I'm here Ryu-chan, I'm not going to disappear, so you can let go of me now…" Shuichi said as he tried to pry the older singer off of him, with only minimal success.

"Please Sakuma-san, Shindou-san does have the need to breath." Fujisaki said as he came up behind the two.

"After all, I do still need a singer." He added as a bit of an after thought.

"Thank you _ever so much_ for your concern Fujisaki-san." Shuichi said, his voice absolutely dripping with sarcasm.

"Aww, b… bu..but… I missed Shu-chan." The man-child wailed.

"Uh… um, please calm down Ryu-chan. Ryu… er… RYUICHI!" Shuichi yelled as Hiro and Suguru tried to pry the man-child off of their band-mate. This only caused Ryuichi to hold tighter.

"EVERYBODY JUST STOOOOPP!" Shuichi yelled in frustration. There was a moment's silence, but it didn't last more than that.

"I don't need your help, I can take care of myself. And Ryu-chan?" Shuichi asked

"Yes?" Ryuichi said and looked up at Shuichi.

"Please let go of me. I won't disappear or anything. I missed you too, but enough is enough." Shuichi said, provoking instant responses from those around him.

"I'm sorry Shuichi. I'm just concerned is all." Ryuichi said with a hint of tears in his voice. They stood in silence for a minute or two before Ryuichi hailed a cab.

"((Wheh ca' ah tahke yuh suh?))" The driver said in thick country English.

"((South, I-81. Toward the Pennsylvania/New York state border.))" Ryuichi said in slightly accented English.

"((Awryetee thehn.))" The driver said nonchalantly as they all piled into two cabs.

"Hey Sakuma-san? Shouldn't you have, like, limo service or something?" Hiro asked. Ryuichi turned around in his seat to talk to them .

"Most normally I do, or I just drive myself. But cabs are also fun 'cause the people are really different. I mean _really_ weirdly different. And not just from us. They're different form each other too." Ryuichi said excitedly.

"((Suh, cahn yuh plees siht propuhlee ihn yuhr seet. Thahnkah yuh.))" The driver said. Ryuichi turned around, only to put the seat as for down as he could put it without hurting Shuichi.

"You're _so_ going to love the house. It's rather peaceful, and about 2 miles away there's this beautiful lake, and during winter it freezes over, so you can go ice-skating on it. It's so pretty and sparkly at night and…" Ryuichi continued to babble on about the house, randomly giving the driver instructions.

_Maybe I can forget about _**him**_ while I am here… dear god, I hope I can stop hurting like this._ Shuichi thought as Ryuichi rambled on. Then he felt a warm hand cover his cold one. Shuichi looked over at Hiro.

"It'll be alright Shu, I promise." Hiro whispered to him.

"Thanks, Hiro-kun." Shuichi said as they arrived at Ryuichi's house.

* * *

awwwww now isn't that a sweet ending for the chapter... again i am sorry for the wait, but if you have read my journal then you'd understand... maybe... please read and review... maybe if i got ten more reviews then i might work harder on the next chapter... and sorry if this chappie seems short... i think it is...


	5. blood

Soooo yeah, I'm not dead, I just lost all inspiration to write to this story, however I'm not gonna apologize because I am glad that those feelings are gone, so flame me if you want :goes and gets her marsh mellows: I'm ready for yuh. Anywhozits… yeah… took me friggin' _forever_ to type this thing so I hope you all like it…

**Warning:** there is a lot of cutting scenes in this chapter.

**NO MORE DISCLAIMERS!!!!!!!** Since I almost always forget it, I will no longer be putting one in, I don't have any rights to gravitation, it all belongs to other smarter more talented people.

Ch. 5 Blood of an Angel

Shuichi sighed and looked around him. The place was beautiful, but not large. Ryuichi's house was average sized; however, it was still gorgeous.

"Welcome, Bad Luck, to your new home!" Ryuichi said as they entered. Everyone looked around, liking this 'new home'.

"Why doesn't everyone sit down in the living room while I go and make us some snacks?" Ryuichi suggested as he led the way to the living room. When Ryuichi got back the room was full of pleasant chatter. Hiro and K were speaking in unaccented English while Suguru and Sakano were speaking in Japanese. Ryuichi smiled, then his eyes fell on Shuichi, who was staring out the window at nothing at all. His fingers were gently rubbing over his left arm_ I hope this trip helps Shu-chan._ Ryuichi thought as he walked into the living room.

"Hey Shu-chan, you want a snack?" Ryuichi asked Shuichi, holding out a tray of assorted American snacks.

"Uh… no thanks Ryu-chan. I'm not hungry right now… but um… could I take a shower? I need one." Shuichi asked.

"Of course. I'll show you where the bathroom is. You guys go ahead and snack. I'm gonna show Shu-chan around a bit." Ryuichi said to all in the room.

"'Kay."

"Right."

"Whatever."

"Sure." Came the chorus of voices.

"This way." Ryuichi pointed as he left the room. Ryuichi lead Shuichi up a flight of stairs, and turned to the left to a room.

"This will be yours and Hiro-chan's room." Ryuichi said when he opened the door.

"Wha… bu… I… we… um…?" Shuichi stuttered as he stared at the happily smiling Ryuichi.

"Well, you see this house only has three bedrooms… so you and Hiro are sharing a room. Suguru and Sakano are in one room and me 'n K are gonna be roomies again!!" Ryuichi said excitedly.

"Oh… ok then." Shuichi said as he went into the room.

"All your stuff arrived a little early, so it should all be in your new room." Ryuichi said, pointing towards Shuichi's bags. Shuichi went over to them and found his clothes bag. Shuichi opened the bag and pulled out a full set of clean clothes. As he did this, he carefully pulled out a small, rectangular container. Shuichi then stood up and followed Ryuichi down the hallway to the bathroom.

Shuichi watched as Ryuichi showed him how to turn the shower on and off. Once Ryuichi was certain that Shuichi could work the shower, he left. Shuichi then went to the closet and picked out a towel. Setting that down he picked up the container and smirked._ No one would ever suspect a pencil lead container could come in so handy._ He thought as he pulled out a single razorblade. Shuichi placed the blade on the corner edge of the tub.

He striped down and got into the shower. Once he had washed his hair and body Shuichi sat down under the falling water and grabbed the blade from the tub edge. He looked on calmly at the lights reflection off the blade. Then he looked at his arms. He brought the blade down to a spot on his inner arm that was as of yet, unscarred. Shuichi steeled himself for the pain as he pressed the blade down. Quickly he drew the blade across his arm. A small thin line appeared.

** Is that all? My god that's so _pathetic_. Poor weak little Shu-chan, you can't even make a proper cut. You can't even end your pain because you're too afraid** The voice in his head said mockingly.

_ Shut up! I can too end it if I really wanted to._

** Then why don't you then? Why don't you end it? **

_ Because I don't need to. I don't want to; I only want relief from this endless numbing emptiness._ As Shuichi thought this last part he made a deeper cut. Shuichi stared as the white flesh slowly turned red as the blood welled up and flowed over. A few drops hit the bottom of the tub, just to be quickly washed away. Shuichi repeated this process until his entire arm was covered in red.

_ There, happy now?_ Shuichi asked as he gently washed his arm off, slightly chuckling at the orange-pink color the water had turned. The voice was silent. Shuichi stood to get out and immediately regretted it. Waves of dizziness swept over him as he turned the water off. Shuichi moved slowly as he dried himself off, taking care not to push on his arm too hard.

Shuichi put on all but his shirts before he searched the cupboard for bandages. All he found were a box of small, useless Band-Aids. Sighing, Shuichi gently put his shirts on and left the bathroom. Once he was in his room he locked the door and pulled out a roll of paper towels and a roll of tape. Shuichi then carefully lifted up his sleeve and sighed at the sight of the blood already welling up again. He dabbed at the blood until it stopped coming so quickly, he then made a makeshift bandage.

o-o-o

"Hey Shu!! You're just in time for lunch!" Ryuichi said as he finished setting the table.

"Oh, good. Thanks Ryu-chan." Shuichi said to the man-child that was Ryuichi. Shuichi grabbed one of the half sandwiches and a little bit of the salad that was being passed around.

"You need to eat more, and don't you _dare_ tell me that you not very hungry. I was watching you and you haven't eaten since the day before yesterday." Hiro whispered into Shuichi's ear while gently poking his non-existent stomach. Hiro then piled three more sandwich halves, a handful more of the salad and a heaping handful of the fries. Shuichi tentatively grabbed a fry and ate it. By this time everyone was staring at him and Hiro.

"What?" Hiro asked rhetorically. No one answered; instead everyone went back to eating and there own conversations.

"Hey Shu-chan!!" Ryuichi said and threw a cold fry at him from across the table.

"Hmm?" Shuichi said in response, rapidly swallowing in order to speak.

"W… wha… what is it?" He said, his eyes tearing from too much food too quickly.

"Hee hee heee… anyway, what I was _going_ to say was that, I think we should go to the market tomorrow so you can start 'Integrating' into America." Ryuichi said with the biggest, cheesiest and cutest smile he could possibly muster.

"Alright, sounds like some fun Ryu-chan." Shuichi said with a small smile.

o-o-o

Shuichi slowly crawled onto the bed, being careful to not bump his injured arm.

"You know, it's a good thing that we don't mind sharing a bed." Hiro said as Shuichi pulled the covers over them and rolled onto his side.

"Yea' s'pose, G'night 'roshi." Shuichi said into his pillow.

"See you in the morning Shu." Hiro said, putting his arm protectively around Shuichi's waist. Within minutes, both were sound asleep.

o-o-o

"((_Ryuichi_…. You have been matchmaking haven't you??))" K asked his former client.

"((Uh!!! NO!!!!!! How could you accuse me of such a thing?? ))" Ryuichi responded, a little too sweetly.

"((You're lying to me. You know I can tell.))" Was his ex-managers response.

"((Well… maybe a little… I just want Shu-chan to be happy again… have they been very close?))" He asked the last with a raised eyebrow.

"((Well, they have always been pretty close, but just before we came here I saw Shuichi run out of the bathroom really red and then Hiro came out and he was a little red in the face as well… and I don't think it was from a fight this time…))" K said in explanation.

"((Hmmm… alright… now just to get them to admit they like each other then…))" Ryuichi half whispered to himself.

o-o-o

_ He gently shut the door, making sure not to let the latch make noise. Shuichi set his bag down by the couch and quietly padded over to Yuki's study. Slowly opening the door Shuichi peered inside. _

_ "Hey I'm home." Shuichi said emotionlessly. When Yuki didn't respond, Shuichi opened the door the rest of the way and entered the cold room. As he neared the blond man he mentally noted the faint scent of beer._ At least he isn't completely drunk, not that I can smell, anyway._ Shuichi thought to himself._

_ "Mm.." Was Yuki's only response to his presence in the room that was once forbidden to him. Shuichi lightly kissed his lovers cheek. _

_ "I'm gonna go take a shower." Shuichi said into his ear. _

_ "Whatever." Yuki said, continuing his typing. _

_ Silently he left the room and headed down the hallway. Shuichi closed the door and turned the lock. After stripping down he examined his naked form in the mirror._ I really should go on a diet._ He thought as he pinched at some fat._ Maybe then Yuki will notice me… nah, who am I kidding…still, I am getting kinda pudgy… oh well. Besides, Hiro would notice I'm sure…

_ Shuichi let his thoughts ramble on as he turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. Once he was satisfied that it was warm enough, Shuichi clambered into the running stream of steaming water. Humming their latest hit he shampooed his hair. As he reached blindly for the conditioner he felt a small prick on his forefingers. Shuichi shrugged it off and continued to try to find the conditioner.He didn't realize that Yuki had moved his razor from its usual resting place and ended up knocking it down. _

_ OW!! Shuichi mentally yelped with an accompanying gasp. He wiped at his eyes and examined where the pain was coming from. He had red flowers blooming on his wet arms and his fingers were also cover with a small shading of pinkish orange. Shuichi blinked at the coloring on his arm. _Blood?_ He looked down and saw the fallen razor. Once he realized what had happened he quickly rinsed off his arm, wincing from the pain of the water invading the newly exposed flesh._

It's only a shallow wound, but…_ Shuichi thought as he examined the two small cuts over the vein near his thumb. Shuichi then bent down and picked up the fallen culprit and stared fascinatedly at the dark silver blade before he tentatively held it to his inner arm. Shuichi closed his eyes and turned away, steeling himself for the pain soon to come. He winced slightly at the stinging pain that followed the blades swift movement, but couldn't help but watch in wonder as his flesh turn pinkish orange as blood fled freely from his skin. _

_ Though the wounds were shallow, they seemed to calm and soothe something he hadn't noticed that was raging before. Like a sated monster, his body was now calm and relaxed._ I think I've found my physical outlet…_ he thought as he finished up the rest of his shower, humming a new tune for a song he had just written._

o-o-o

He blinked his eyes, vision coming to his barely conscious mind, focusing on the smooth white walls while his blinking hurriedly ushered the sleep induced fog to dissipate. He rolled over, only to come face to face with Shuichi's sleep-softened face._ He's so beautiful._ He thought as he moved some stray strands of hot pink out of his angels face. Shuichi stirred at his touch. Hiro smiled as Shuichi's eyes slowly slid open.

"Good morning angel, sleep well?" Hiro asked him in a half murmur.

"For once yes, actually." Shuichi said with a yawn.

"Good. I don't care why just that you got good sleep is enough." Hiro said and kissed Shuichi's forehead. Which made Hiro chuckle when Shuichi screwed up his eyes to try and see his own forehead.

"Come on, time to get up and out of bed." Hiro said and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Shuichi hesitated.

"I already know. You don't have to hide them from me." Hiro said softly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yo… you do??" Shuichi said looking at Hiro in slight wonder. Hiro sat back down on the bed and turned to look at Shuichi.

"How could I not Shu? I know your signs and you gave them all to me. You know I can always see right through you…" Hiro whispered to the pink haired man.

"Unfortunately, I guess this makes you the best friend for me to have, doesn't it?" Shuichi asked, more to himself than to Hiro. Hiro just nodded and tweaked Shuichi's nose.

"Enough depressedness, time to get ready for a Ryu filled day…" Hiro said with a bit of a sigh.

o-o-o

thank you for reading, and if you thought this was long, just think, I cut this chapter very short, I still have 4 and ½ hand written pages that I decided would be in the next chapter instead… btw this story is inspired by "in Love and Hate" by kolie and both "Cutting Through It All" and "Without You I Am Lost" by Dhampir, so if you like my story check out theirs, tho I would also recommend most all of their other stories too… and… hit the review button to tell me what you think… if you think this is a stupid story, then tell me so, if you are confused by something, tell me and I will try to explain it to you if I can…

sayonara,

k

12/11/06 3am


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